A Journey Through Journaling

If you’ve read our grounding practices blog post, I’m sure you read about grounding through journaling. I wanted to dive deeper into the journaling process through a short memoir, because it definitely does not always come easy, but it truly is a wonderful way to sort out your mind and visually see your thoughts in front of you. It’s almost like travelling through a tunnel. You start on one side, unknowing where the journey through the tunnel will lead you, until you get to the end. Sometimes you dive in knowing exactly what to write and other times you may completely blank out while writing. This can be a beautiful form of channeling and expression. Sometimes when you sit down to write it just starts flowing out - let it. This flow state becomes more common with practice, and sometimes it takes 10-15+ minutes of sitting in front of your journal or keyboard to get there. Either way the act of writing helps usher in new energy because it gets the current energy in your body moving!

I personally picked up journaling when I was in high school. I’m sure you hear some say that high school was the worst four years of their life － you can count me in on that statement. I battled with my fair share of stress and emotions because I didn’t know what I was doing with my life and I felt so incredibly lost and unmotivated. I was an extremely optimistic kid growing up, and it felt like high school was sucking the optimism out of me. I hated it. I didn’t want to project any of my negative energy into the universe, so I wrote it all in a little book and I always felt so powerful everytime I could let it all out and then shut that book and let go of all the negative feelings. 

This process was a very healthy way for me to recognize, acknowledge, and validate my emotions and feelings, without letting them tear me down. I’m an optimistic person who likes to project happiness and good thoughts to the souls around me and I believe only positive mindsets allow you to grow and strive. However, I also believe it is extremely important to always acknowledge yourself, your thoughts and your feelings when you're not feeling oh so optimistic. We are humans at the end of the day, and we’re not always going to feel like sunshine and rainbows. We are programmed with a multitude of emotions that we shouldn’t be afraid to express. On the contrary, it really helps to learn how to channel and express them. 

Soon after I started journaling about my negative energies, I became an avid journaler and started journaling every night before bed. Sometimes I’d write about my day, other times I would write complete and utter nonsense, whatever was in my head at that moment. I kept up with journaling for quite a while until recently. Two years ago I had a major shift in my life. I had a new mindset and perspective for my own life, but I felt like my not so great old habits followed me into my journey of transformation. It was really strange because I had already convinced myself that I had grown and changed when in reality I was still working on myself at that point and that I hadn’t let go of my bad habits. On top of that it was an extremely challenging year because a lot of unlucky things happened to me, things that I had no control over. Throughout that difficult year, I kept journaling, but slowly as I got busy and drained by all the chatter and comotion, I went back to writing only when I felt a heavy negative presence on my soul. I had a new journal which ended up getting filled with nothing but negative experiences, thoughts, and words. Fast forward a whole year －  I was finally at the end of my transformation. Once the unlucky curse was broken and I truly felt like a new person, I stopped journaling, because I no longer had any intense negative energy looming over me. I should have kept journaling because in reality journaling serves us in good times and in bad, but I let it go temporarily.

After about two months of feeling more like my natural optimistic self I wanted to journal again, but I couldn’t find the courage to pick up my journal full of negativity and write positive thoughts. I thought the simple solution was to just get a new journal and have a fresh start, but that didn’t help either. Everytime I went to write, I felt my past rush into me. I couldn’t help but think about everything I had written for the past year. It felt like my own writing was haunting me. I thought, maybe the presence of the old journal is what's really haunting me, so I shoved it deep into the back of my closet where I would never unintentionally lay eyes on it. Unfortunately that didn’t help either. For the first time I felt an incredible disconnect to journaling. I gave up on it. 

Life went on. For the first time I felt genuinely proud of myself and my growth. I shifted into a newer and better version of myself. I continued on with life without writing for over a whole year. Throughout that time I felt a bit scattered. I felt like I had a million thoughts zooming through my head that I could never keep organized, and I just let it happen. I never even attempted to organize my thoughts. I fell into a habit of not worrying about anything else going on in my head unless it was important to the task I was doing right at that moment. I was really focusing on my career goals and I was extremely motivated to be a hard worker on that 24/7 grind. However, subconsciously, I knew being on that grind and not having a creative outlet was a  drain on all my creative energy. 

Later that same year, I had a deck of tarot cards call out to my soul. My friend gave me my first reading and in that session my inner thoughts showed themselves and I was finally able to listen and accept them. That reading helped me realize this habit that I had fallen into, of not worrying about all the thoughts in my head. This was really holding me back from reaching my full potential. I wanted to make another change in my life. As proud as I was of the growth I had accomplished the year before, I knew I had more growing to do, because as humans we never stop growing or learning. That’s actually the very thing that marks life, a constant flow of experiences and growth. 

From that moment I took a new step into my spiritual journey and dived deeper into tarot and oracle cards. Giving people readings gave me a new creative outlet and helped me strengthen my own relationship with my intuition. The internal doubt subsided, and I started feeling more confident in myself and the life path I was on. I stayed away from journaling for a couple more months until I felt strong enough to face the reality of my past. Truth is that journaling through that phase probably would have gotten me there faster. 

I eventually built up enough strength and courage to put pen to paper and write about the journey of growth I had taken. I felt so free again, being able to write and express everything that had happened to me and who I had turned into since the last time I journaled. Being reunited with journaling felt like reconnecting with an old friend.

Now in the present I can confidently say I am the best version of myself that I have ever been so far. I still use journaling as a tool when I’m having a down day, but I’ve been able to find my balance again and not fear the words I write. I’ve started tracking my growth in my journal, and writing about new lessons that come up in life. It was time to shift my journaling ritual. I used to have a set routine for myself in the past and I always wrote only once a day strictly before bed. Now I allow myself to write whenever I feel inspired. Journaling shouldn't be a strictly timed activity. It’s all about expressing yourself, and feeling a level of comfort around self expression at any moment in your journey of life. Sometimes, even when I’m out and about and a little spark of inspiration hits me, I’ll pull out my phone and start writing in the notes app and then later transfer it into my journal. 

Journaling can help track your journey in life and figure out what the next stop is. The process of journaling is also a journey in itself － a wonderful journey that always allows us to explore the depths of our own mind. When you journal don’t stress over what you might write or discover. Just take a deep breath and let it naturally flow out of you. If writing personally isn’t your favorite pastime then keep an audio journal. Make voice recordings of yourself talking through anything that is on your mind. What you say or write doesn’t have to be cohesive either. This isn’t a project for class or work. It’s for self reflection. Allow yourself to jump from one topic to another without transitions. Let the words flow out without worrying about precautions. And most importantly enjoy the journey. It can open you up to an influx of creativity and stress relief.

Journaling is a fantastic way yo reconnect with yourself.

It is a practice that takes time to build up. Remember, nobody is grading you - just put pen to paper and let the rest flow naturally.